Learning to Listen in the Business World
When I think back on my time in recruiting, I do not first think about resumes or job descriptions. I think about people. I think about conversations. I think about how often the most important thing I could do in a meeting was not talk, but listen.
I worked as an executive recruiter at Bloom, Gross & Associates, a boutique firm focused on consumer packaged goods marketing. It was a flexible role that allowed me to balance work and family life, but it also taught me something much deeper than I expected. I learned that good listening is not passive. It is active, intentional, and focused.
In recruiting, people are often trying to present their best selves. Candidates want to sound polished and confident. Companies want to sound attractive and put together. My job was to go beyond that surface level and understand what people were really saying, and sometimes what they were not saying at all.
That meant paying attention to tone, hesitation, and even what someone avoided talking about. It meant asking better questions and then being quiet long enough for the real answers to come out.
Hearing What Is Not Being Said
One of the biggest lessons I learned in recruiting was that people rarely say exactly what they mean in the first sentence.
A candidate might say they are “open to new opportunities,” but what they really mean could be that they are feeling stuck or undervalued. A company might say they want a “strong leader,” but what they really need could be stability during a time of change.
I learned to listen for the space between words. That space often held the truth.
I also learned not to rush that process. Silence can feel uncomfortable in a professional setting, but I found that if I stayed quiet just a little longer, people would often fill that silence with something more honest.
That lesson has stayed with me far beyond recruiting.
Listening Changed When Life Got Real
As my life shifted into motherhood and community involvement, I started to realize that the same skills I used in recruiting applied in a much more meaningful way.
When you are raising children, you quickly learn that listening is not just about words. It is about emotions, timing, and presence. Sometimes a child does not need advice. They need to feel heard.
Over time, I began to understand that real listening is not about fixing. It is about being present with someone in whatever they are experiencing.
That understanding became even more important when I became involved in Stephen Ministry.
Care Rooms Instead of Boardrooms
Stephen Ministry is a program where trained laypeople provide one to one emotional and spiritual support to individuals going through difficult life situations. That can include grief, illness, divorce, loneliness, or other major challenges.
It is very different from recruiting, but in some ways, it is also very similar.
In recruiting, I sat across from people in boardrooms or offices trying to understand their professional goals. In Stephen Ministry, I sit with people in what I think of as care rooms, which are often living rooms, hospital rooms, or quiet spaces where real life is happening.
The setting is different, but the heart of the work is the same. It is about listening without judgment and being fully present.
The Power of Simply Being Present
One of the most important things I have learned through Stephen Ministry is that people do not always need solutions. They often already know what they are dealing with. What they need is someone willing to sit with them in it.
I have walked alongside people through grief, illness, addiction, financial stress, and deep personal loss. In those moments, listening becomes something much deeper than conversation. It becomes companionship.
There is something powerful about telling someone, without words, “I am here, and I am not going anywhere in this moment.”
That kind of presence cannot be rushed or manufactured. It has to be offered freely.
What Recruiting Still Teaches Me Today
Even though I am not actively recruiting anymore, I still use those skills every day.
I use them when I talk with my children. I use them when I volunteer in my community. I use them in my Stephen Ministry relationships. I use them in friendships and everyday conversations.
I still pay attention to tone. I still listen for what is not being said. I still try to ask better questions and then give people space to answer honestly.
Most importantly, I still remind myself that listening is not about having the right response ready. It is about making sure the other person feels seen and heard.
Closing Thoughts
Looking back, I used to think recruiting was about matching the right person to the right job. And it is, in part. But I have come to see it as something much more human than that.
It taught me how to listen in a way that creates trust.
That lesson has followed me into every part of my life, from raising a family to walking with others through their hardest seasons. Whether I am in a boardroom or a care room, the most important thing I can offer is still the same. It is my attention, my presence, and my willingness to truly listen.